Well, simply put Street Beers is the consumption of beer on the street. A little more complicated-ly put, Street Beers is an exclusive club of some pretty wonderful individuals who love three very simple things.
Beer. Streets. The Midas Touch.
Now I know what you're thinking
"Hey, I literally love all of that shit! In fact, this might just be the coolest fucking club I’ve ever heard of!” Well lucky for you, achieving membershit is really not all that hard! Just follow these simple rules and you’ll be Street Beering in no time! And using Street Beer as a verb in no time!
1. tweet or instagram a photo of you engaging in Street Beers.
Make sure to tag, hashtag or thrashtag @streetbeerstmt #streetbeerstmt
B. pay your membership fees.
Just one small yearly fee! Wow! Now all you have to do is fill out the questionnaire so we can know a bit about ya. After all, we’re officially family.
IV. Keep on Street Beering!
Continue to enjoy engaging in davage-ass Street Beers sessions and look out for your SUPER-SWEET Street Beers Membershit Package Welcome Kit Thingy! And hey…heeeeey, keep on thrashtagging your Street Beers shit! We wanna see them ragers*!
again, that’s @streetbeerstmt #streetbeerstmt
That's it! It literally could not be any easier.
But what's this now? Fees? Fees? Everywhere fees? Yeah, calm down cheapskate. As I mentioned, you are going to get a SUPER-SWEET Street Beers Membershit Package Welcome Kit Thingy! And those things don't grow on trees. So what's in this package you ask??
A numbered ID card, to prove to people that you're a true alcoholic, and an official member of Street Beers.
A personalized, signed copy of whatever our latest release was on compact disc.
10% off on all merch at our live shows! (just flash that alcoholic id card we gave ya at the booth!) *sorry dudes, we can only give the discount in person. not on purchases from our online store.
A card on your birthday, signed by all of us. Just to let you know were thinking of ya ;)
A Street Beers T-Shirt, patch, pin and sticker. Now these are important. It's def required that you show off Street Beers to absolutely everyone you can force it on. Be loud and proud bitches!
The Official Newsletter of Street Beers! That's right, a quarterly newsletter just to keep you in the loop as to what we're up to, both band activity and drinking activity alike! Oh, I bet it'll probably also have a word search or something too. Maybe a swear-word search. Or sudoko. Oh, and did I mention? This is a hard copy newsletter, delivered to your door. None of this e-newsletter bullshit delivered to your e-door. Psssshhhhh.
Hell, How bout a x-mas card too? Not a believer? Who cares, neither are we! X-mas is just fun. You're getting an X-mas card too!
And last and probably least: A personal letter from one of us, welcoming you to Street Beers. That's right, one of us will take time out of our busy schedules, less busy for Jeff, to craft for you a handwritten real life letter, bring it to practice so everyone can sign it, buy a fuckin' stamp and mail that shit your way! Pretty much just to thank you for being so rad. Man, to do all that, I guess we're also pretty rad ourselves.
And not to mention, when you come see us play, we're gonna think you're the coolest fucker(s) at the show. (Other than us) Just make sure you come say whats up after the show so we can give you all the credit you deserve for being the badass you are.
So that's that people. Street Beers in a nutshell. Whaddya say? Get off your ass and…
join Street Beers TODAY!
NOTE: STREET BEERS MEMBERSHIT COMING SOON! LIKE REALLY, VERY SOON!
In order to take part in Street Beers, you must be at least 21 years of age. Or a phenomenal liar. The Midas Touch does not endorse underage drinking, or really drinking at all. It’s a pretty terrible thing that often times leads to some pretty terrible things. Much like the famed Wu Tang Clan, alcoholism ain’t nuthin’ to fuck with. Not tryin’ to get all soapboxy, just be careful bros. The Midas Touch also does not endorse drinking anywhere that the law prohibits drinking. And hey, you know what else? Street Beers doesn’t mean you’re actually drinking beer IN the street, dummy, just on the street. Drinking IN the street is just plain stupid. That’s where cars are for christ’s sake. Please, please engage in Street Beers responsibly.
*the term ‘ragers’ does not in any way refer to raging erections. don’t thrashtag that shit. you’ll prolly get banned**.
**not banned by us. banned by twitter or whoever. we aint no homophobes.***
***not suggesting twitter are homophobes